Alive and awake
Maybe too awake...
Ornate hawk-eagle (Spizaetus ornatus) with colored pencils on an A3 sheet.
Note: From now on, I’m adding an AI disturbance layer on my art, I hope it’s not too visible or disturbing for you. If it is, tell me, I’ll reduce the opacity.
Recently, I have been watching and listening to videos explaining different concepts and exploring all sorts of ideas on super interesting topics. That’s because I can now fully focus on what the people are saying since I get enough sleep. (Well, most of the time)
Firstly, I just wanted to know more about the big corporations and their history and manipulation tactics. I got the idea pretty quickly. I just forget sometimes how these companies are controlled by actual humans, because they don’t really show it…. But that made me even more curious and I wanted to learn more.
So I moved on to consciousness and quantum physics. This is what I usually enjoy more than anything. I have been listening to such videos before too, but couldn’t get focused enough, so, again, I let it wait till the end of the year. The past week I haven’t stopped learning about this and I love every second of it. There is one thing I noticed, which is messing with me a little bit - some people try to explain brain activity with computer functions. I get it, it might be easier for some people because of the tech they depend on, but I don’t think it’s the best way. So I try to find a way that doesn’t use terms from PCs. I use biological ones, like, obviously. “The algorithm in your brain gives these outputs and applies them to solve the problem.” turns to “The connections and neuron activity (in your brain) find logical explanations and ways to fix the problem”. Now I hope this makes some sense, but that’s what I mean.
The biggest things that I remember the best are how quantum mechanics are literally everywhere and make life possible (e. g plants through electron tunneling are able to get the energy from the sun with no loss and your phone’s chips allow particles to pass when they shouldn’t). And the thing is, the conscious mind is closely related to the same quantum physics and, hence, the Universe itself. I found out that your life is 98% controlled by the unconscious mind, and only 2% by the conscious one.
That explained why some people live in a loop, while trying everything to manifest a life they want. They focus on certain things over and over again to a point where it starts to happen unconsciously. Like a routine. Imagine sleep-walking, or waking up in a dream state - the individual starts their day with a set of actions repeated for decades (just acknowledging the fact that most people here are older than me by a lot). Dreams are indeed controlled by the unconscious mind.
But that’s what change is. A small choice to distract yourself from something negative you usually stress about or notice. (Disclaimer: That doesn’t mean it’s bad to feel negatively sometimes, of course. It’s a balance.) The most important thing is “Attention goes where energy flows”. That really changes reality, because since the mind is connected to the Universe, you have the real ability to control your life. I’m trying to explain this as clearly as possible and without going into too much detail, but I’m making actual proper sense of it right now, so…
You can see that this just escalates quickly. What I learned got me asking more, so I found more. The fact that I know things, but can’t explain them in normal sentences is sad, but I plan on re-listening to some videos to hopefully make better connections.
I also found out about how you don’t actually exist inside your head or body, given that people during surgeries, when they were clinically dead, went on to tell the surgeons that they saw everything from above and heard conversations they had in the room. So when you die, consciousness still exists, but in a different form and from a different perspective. Interesting.
Another thing that I inevitably found out about and is not very good, is Q-day. I’m not going to talk about it too much, as I only learned about of it a few days ago. Basically, quantum computers are a thing, I’m sure you know of their existence and extreme power. Their problem-solving abilities are based on the fact that they have qbits (binary systems use bits - either 0 or 1, but theirs are both at once or a combination of any kind - called quantum superposition), which can test many possibilities at once.
The Internet as we know it is mostly encrypted. A supercomputer has the problem of decrypting a private document, kept safe by the RSA-2048 encryption method for example (very popular, by the way). Because it can only use either 0, or 1 to find different possibilities of success, and eventually the numbers it needs, it would take millions of years, whereas a quantum computer would be able to solve the problem in hours or minutes. Q-day is basically when everything is at risk of being exposed to everyone.
People are collecting data, and archiving it for later - archive now, decrypt later, I think the practice was called. It’s very interesting for me to be alive right now at this age and how we’re watching the very thing that we have been dependent on for over 70 years kinda collapse. It is estimated for this to happen as soon as the 2030s, but personally I don’t think they have enough money to invest for that to happen.
Our consciousness and thinking capacity might be the very thing that ends up destroying us. Nothing like steel getting destroyed by its own rust, though it’s not really rust in this case.
This, from an evolutionary perspective, is logical. There was this deer, which is famous for going extinct for its huge antlers. The genes were deemed useful, because of the success of the males, until they grew so large they got in they way of normal living.
But then I realize how few of us (the intelligent kind) there are, or is that the illusion? The people in power have recently made it obvious how insane and twisted they are. The public is normal, but more and more dependent on everything else but themselves and are being distracted constantly by ads, poor entertainment and dopamine, and AI. It’s easy to lose your sanity like this, unknowingly. We, the sane, just see the effects early enough to avoid them becoming a routine (hence life saving). I just hope the teens get “off those damn cellphones” eventually and live actually aware of life happening and the fact they have control over it (only partially, unfortunately - the government you can’t really control).
So I want to do whatever I want. I want to be able to play the piano — I will, and I’m sure I can do it (got a teacher already). I want to learn more languages — I will. Learn all I want about everything I want? I have the resources.
Last month I got a library card, which was surprisingly free. In fact, everything at the library is free. That motivated me. I got a very nice textbook about physiology. I love the way the things are laid out — simply put, with no extra wording and with super nice diagrams. A little later, my mom saw it and I made the shocking discovery that it’s meant for revision for university students’ exams… Man, they’re lucky. I found the book online so I can always have full access to its cool stuff.
The books can be kept for a month and then returned. I didn’t completely finish mine, but it’s okay, because I got a different one more connected with school, about Pushkin. I’ll get the physiology textbook back when I get more time. For now, I’m enjoying life.
The meaning of life is living it in a way that makes the real self happy.
Have a great weekend!
AI disturbance -- I like the sound of that. As for the rest, thank you for confirming I will never understand quantum computing and don't worry about the "too awake" bit. Brain grows, needs food, make sure it's good food. :)